CURE-ALL // Chapter 10
All that was left was nothing.
‘That’s all we were told would remain. The world was to be engulfed in suicide smoke, and all except those who could make it to the safe zone would be consumed. It’d be quick. We were promised it’d be painless. We were promised the only way out was a ticket to the safe zone, reserved only for those who could afford it. I was one of them, and I didn’t want to go.
Why go when nothing’s left?
Why go when nothing’s left; Anand considers something.
Diru, he says. Please write this down.
Go ahead, Anand.
This is how it ended — with neither whimper nor bang. No beast slouched Bethlehemwards. No beast tumbled east. When she came bearing the news, she looked just like her — the one that got away. I always was a sucker for the type. For years, ‘the type’ was all I thought I missed. Not her. Just her type. At first, I thought I rocked in my seat out of lust, not longing. Like a guy my age. Lust of the sort that is acceptable for guys being boys will be boys. And being dumped for marriage material is about the most boy thing there is.
I wanted to feel like a boy. I ached to act like a boy. I wanted to hit every bar I could find, drink every kind of scotch this run-down town had to offer, meet every girl, take them all back home. Like a boy my age. Like a normal boy. But I couldn’t. For years, I couldn’t.
When the postman came bearing news of the end, she looked just like her. She felt just like that night. Like every cliché was made just for how I’d feel once I woke up — overused, completely stripped of meaning. Time flies, carpe diem, you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone, so this is how it ends…
That’s how it ended. With neither whimper, nor bang. It ended with a movie-like slinging on of a singlet in the night, the shuffling of feet, the holding back of tears. It ended like the end of every act two of every romantic dramedy. It ended just before the grand gesture. It ended just before a footchase and a declaration of love through tears, a kiss. We didn’t even kiss goodbye.
One moment, it was.
One moment, it wasn’t.
I didn’t understand that if I didn’t chase after her, I’d be damaged forever. That irrespective of whether she turned back or not, irrespective of how things turned out, not chasing after her meant defeat. All that would remain would be nothingness. I’d be all that remained.
Anand puts on his headset. Starts to speak.
Scene 1 draft.
I’m all that remains on the edge of the safe zone: in purgatory. The safe-zoners are terrified I’ll bring them the ground disease. They’re also being amazed I made it alive through the suicide smoke armed with nothing but a hoverjet. On the ground below me, all that remains is nothing. I’m the only one left alive here. I hold up my code. They let me in.